When I was in my thirties, I recognized that my thoughts were making me sick. I used to be needy, pathetic, insecure, worried and afraid of everything. I felt like a victim and interestingly attracted victimization because of how I felt.
I couldn’t think of ten things that I loved about myself. I certainly didn’t know who I was. When I was married I found myself feeling lost, lonely and miserable. My self-talk was negative. I blamed my husband for my unhappiness and of course, ended up divorcing him because I was so unhappy. The truth is that no matter who I was with, there was no pleasing me. I didn’t receive the love they gave me because I didn’t love myself. I didn’t respect myself and the people I attracted didn’t respect me either. My boyfriend’s or husbands couldn’t ever give me enough to fill my love tank up or make me happy. The truth was, I was empty.
When we don’t love ourselves we have a self-deprecating commentary. “You’re too fat. You aren’t pretty enough. You aren’t smart enough. You should have known better! How could you be so stupid?” On top of the negativity we aim at ourselves, we are just as critical with our partners, friends, and strangers. We judge, complain and critique. We think we are “helping” but we aren’t. We don’t accept ourselves and therefore can’t accept anyone else either.
All those things that we say to ourselves when no one is looking are “killing thoughts” or killing words. These words when we say them to ourselves often enough like most of us do, end up creating illness in our bodies. With enough time and negativity, many of us end up with sinus infections or bladder infections as a first sign that something is wrong with our thinking. Years and years of brow-beating criticism cause further illness that no one can explain. From Fibromyalgia to auto-immune diseases, depression, anxiety, worry ulcers to bunions. All of our negativity turned inward has an effect on our physiology. Think of Dr. Emoto and his snowflake experiment. Just thinking a thought towards a snowflake created beauty or ugliness depending on whether it was positive and loving or hateful and abusive. The same is true for us.
If we don’t change our minds and thoughts cancer from our repressed anger and resentment becomes our wake-up call like one of my long-term clients. Self-hatred is self-abuse. We can abuse ourselves other ways as well with overeating sweets like ice cream, indulging in alcohol or drugs just to quiet our minds. There is another way and that is how I found happiness within. My life totally transformed when I changed my thoughts and began to love myself fearlessly instead!
Like so many people I had trauma in my childhood and kept telling my sad story over and over in my head and to anyone who would listen until I realized I wanted something better. I wanted my life to be better and I wanted to be happier. When I began to change my thoughts to something more positive I began to feel better. The more consistent I was being kind and loving towards myself, the better my life became. Over time, relationships improved, friendships deepened and I became healthier as well and infinitely happier. Instead of running after men or longing for a man to love me, I began to love myself enough that I was perfectly happy alone. No longer was I afraid to be alone with myself, I began to actually enjoy my own company.
I stopped looking for someone to give me what I could give myself so I stopped settling for second-best just to have a man. I spent over a hundred thousand dollars on my personal growth through retreats, courses, and certifications. Every time I found a modality that helped me tremendously I became certified in it taking Hypnotherapy, Train the Trainer in Hypnotherapy and NLP, Master of Energy Healing and learned to read the Akashic Records. All of these modalities I now use in my private practice helping women and men heal their hearts, minds, and bodies like I did for myself.
It took me over thirty years of research, study, and healing to get to this place where I love myself and my life and now I have developed a proprietary system to help others find a love so deep for themselves that every relationship they have transforms too. Life becomes easier when we focus on what we want rather than what we don’t want, we become master manifestors and creators in our life rather than the victim of circumstance.
I chose to end my fight within arguing with everyone and thinking I knew better. It took me half of my life to get to this place of happiness, fulfillment and inner peace. Are you willing to wait thirty years for your happiness? Why not take advantage of my good nature and offer to have a private session to discover how we could work together to get you to happy? Contact me today and let’s get you on the road to happy!
With all my love,